Everything In Moderation

Welp, there are wedding bells in my future… no not my own, but my adorable, wonderful, fabulous older sister is engaged (!!!) as of this weekend to an equally adorable, wonderful, fabulous man (…boy).

This HUGE event is clearly going to be the topic of many future posts, but is not actually the subject du jour. But in true wedding format, everyone is now on the official “wedding diet” – and by everyone, I mean me {just as a sidenote, I am aware that this is not my own wedding, and yes, I still plan on “shedding for the wedding” (cred for line to my future bro-in-law)}. And so my policy for this engagement (at least in terms of food) is everything in moderation.

So what better time to frivolously spend money on cute things I don’t actually need? I mean this purchase fits my new motto and will look pretty on the shelf! Found courtesy of Daily Candy‘s deals, these little containers have handy measuring units imprinted to help keep portions under control!

 

 

Check out Portionware’s website and happy eating (in moderation)!

Murphy’s Law Monday

Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Don’t you hate those days? We all have them and they suck. You feel sorry for yourself, complain, stay in a foul mood, wallowing in your own self-pity. On the bright side though, focus on the positive – when you recountyour tragic tale, tearing up thinking about your crappy luck, keep in mind that you might be able to provide a really entertaining story for your friends.

My friend had one of those days last week and while I feel for her, this email had me cracking up at her expense. So obviously I offered outraged words of comfort and immediately (and very sensitively of course) asked if I could please share with all of you. Just looking out for you guys. Enjoy: 

This is what happened to me.

Doug* and Micah out of town camping for weekend with some stupid guy group.

Friday, the accountant emails me that I have to get our tax shit in Monday and they will do their best.  (Panic setting in.  I do a puzzle.  Procrastinate.  Color with Sally.  Watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.)

Doug says they will be back early on Sunday.  They stroll in at 4:30 (have ignored all 37 calls and texts – apparently no cell coverage.  Even 5 minutes from our house?  I’m pretty sure my phone works outside of our kitchen).  Dumbass.  I tell him of tax emergency.

Sunday night he proceeds to spray paint a piece of plywood that he needs for a golf tournament the next day.

Monday he gets up at 8.  I tell him I need the tax info NOW.  “I’ll get it when I can get it.  When do you expect me to go to my office?”

“RIGHT NOW MOTHER F***ER. I EXPECT YOU TO GET UP AND DO IT RIGHT NOW.  I AM NOT GOING TO JAIL FOR YOU!  THIS IS TAX EVASION!  FELONY!”  (Side note, at least in jail I will have nothing to do but work out and beat people up.)

I tell him to call the accountant at his office and reprint the tax documents.  I will call her.  What is her name?  I will go to her office.  He emails her.  OMG.  Grab sack you asshole!  Get this done!  Do not just email people.  He is such an enabled baby. 

On WEDNESDAY he gets a copy of the 1099 and not other information.  He doesn’t know.  I want to kill him.  I tell people that I want to kill him.  If I kill him, I will be instantly found guilty with incriminating texts and emails that say I want to kill him.  It will not be a crime of passion or self-defense.  Now I am in jail for murder and tax evasion.  All dreams of a Martha Stewart white collar jail experience out of the question.  I wear bright orange and pick up trash on the highway chained to a Mexican drug lord.  I still beat people up and become skinny – I have priorities.

I get home from work on Wednesday at 4 pm.  Doug is not feeling good.  Of COURSE YOU LAZY ASSHOLE YOU ARE SICK.  I take the copy of his 1099 (which states how poor we are) and grab the tax folder and the children.  I need them to use the carpool lane (3 people) and it is RUSH HOUR.  I drop off taxes across bridge.  Bright note: accountant has candy bowl!  Kids are happy.  Reese’s pieces and kit kats.  Yum. 

Pull out of tax office.  Car dies 3 blocks later in middle of street.  I cannot push car anywhere.  I have work clothes on and 2 worthless carpool kids.  We proceed to cause traffic jam with stupid people that do not go around car with hazard lights on.  Dammit!  Motorcycle cop comes.  He has mustache and is nice.  I like him.  30 minutes later 2 chop shop drag racer guys offer to push car.  I love them and I hug them.  One declares that he has a concealed weapon to the cop.  The cop confirms that he has already noticed and can he push his gun down farther.  What?  I hugged guy with gun?  Street cred for jail.  I still love him.  I have no way to thank them – other than stale goldfish and dirty socks from trunk of car.  I suck.  They push my car into coke distributorship and tow truck comes.

Tow truck comes and thinks I am stupid girl.  I don’t care.  He is old and his name is Jack and he stinks like cigarettes.  I love him too, he is nice to me, because he thinks I am stupid.  In jail, I will smoke.  Even skinnier.  This is all working out.  He tows away worthless car.  See ya, asshole.  (Car = asshole.  Tow truck guy = best friend)

Me and 2 carpool kids in coke parking lot.  Some guy offers kids drinks from his minivan – after all we are in a beverage company parking lot!  Yes!  Go with him!  Get a free drink!  He has a window-less van and is offering you free sugary treats!  I let them go.  I am now in jail for tax evasion, murder, and child neglect.  Never getting out.  Terrible citizen, wife, mother.  Skinny and wear orange for life. 

Doug picks us up – he has not answered phone again.  We are waiting in parking lot.  Drinking free coke and powerade and smart water.  Everyone so nice!  I want to marry guy with gun, old tow truck smoker guy, and coke distributor.  Will ask them to visit me in the pen. 

I filled out 27 pages of a tax preparation folder.  Dug through piles of receipts and credit card bills and tax forms.  He gets ONE COPY.  I want to kill him.  Wish I had asked the gun guy how he gets to carry a gun and where do I get one. 

*Names have been changed for protection/humiliation factors.

Happy Monday!

 

New Neighbor

West Elm is opening it’s doors in Seattle today! I’m so stoked to check it out… I entered to win their $2,000 sweepstakes, but it’s really weird because they haven’t called me yet. It’s dangerously close to work – I think I might have to do a lunchtime drop in.

Here are a couple of things I am coveting in case you wanted to purchase a gift for me:

Essex sofa - just a cool $1,300 - NBD

Love me some gallery frames!

On SALE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fabulous Fall

Cozy, crisp October. When fall really starts to seep into your bones. When the sweaters come out from the back of the closet and you’d be a fool to leave the house without gloves and a scarf. When I think of October in Seattle, I think of perfect, crisp fall days. The sun is shining, but it’s not warm. There are not so many rainy days that you grow weary of the gloom… yet. I think of snuggling up in front of a fire with a good book and a cup of tea. And although I probably have only ever done that once in my life, October just puts me in that quaint state of mind. Plus, now that it’s truly fall, I consider it to be totally acceptable to start openly drooling at all the splendor that is the Christmas season.

 As I was daydreaming about October and fall and all the delight that this time of the year brings to me, I began to wonder if I could pinpoint a single, favorite fall memory. A million things and no one specific thing rush to mind – I think what determines the definition of favorite changes over time, so it’s a difficult notion to capture. But nonetheless, in rifling through old memories, I thought of a few winners.

–          Trick-or-treating as a little kid – we would walk around the neighborhood banging on doors and demanding candy (raging on sugar highs does not make for the nicest children). I remember specifically in 6^th or 7^th grade when our group of girls combined with the boys and we did a co-ed trick-or-treat excursion. Someone’s mom and dad walked behind us at an acceptably embarrassing distance and we ran up and down the hills thinking we were oh-so-cool. I just remember having so much fun that night.

–          Carving pumpkins with my sisters – we would draw with black Sharpie the faces we wanted to make on our jack-o-lanterns and then our dad would carefully extract the cutout portions and we’d scoop out the gross, gooey insides, squealing and cracking up the whole time. Last year I did the “grown up” version and I cut out my creation all by myself. We had a little competition… which one do you think should win??

–          FOOTBALL: pre-teen going to Husky games, high school football (we never won, but it was such a fun social event), college era Husky football (even though we were atrociously bad during my four years, the experience was nothing short of epic), and current Husky football (read: tailgating). I love getting bundled up, making/scromping on deelish tailgate appetizers, socializing, and rooting on my team – fall is always synonymous with football. Go Dawgs!

–          Homemade chili on Halloween – my mom started making this one spooky Halloween night many years ago and it’s become a beloved tradition in our family. Before we went out in our costumes, we sat down to a scrumptious dinner of slow simmered homemade chili with homemade cornbread and homemade apple cider. One year I volunteered to help with the meal, offering to make the cornbread. Upon pulling it out of the oven, I immediately knew I must have done something wrong – it was as flat as my… it was very flat. I realized I had left out the baking powder, so I ditched round one and moved on to round two. Where I proceeded to use baking SODA instead of baking POWDER. Well, they say third time’s a charm… These days, I just use the Marie Callender’s cornbread. It comes in a bag (shameful) and it is perfection. Hard to mess that up.

–          Last year I celebrated the first annual Mashed Potato Madness and besides a slight tiff about the proper way to do dishes (THEY HAVE TO BE RINSED BEFORE YOU PUT THEM IN THE DISHWASHER), it was a fabulous night and so much fun to cook with my sistah (who is a GREAT cook!) This year, I’m hoping she’ll host it at her new (and adorable) house.

 What is/are your favorite memories of fall?

 Here are a few things I’m looking forward to doing during this awesome season (all courtesy of Pinterest.com – I am an addict):

Pumpkin carving – thought this would be a cool idea: use cookie cutters and a hammer to make clean cut shapes (my hand is a wee bit shaky…)

Fun googly-eye nails!

Rolling up a “thankful” fortune in a crescent roll – everyone submits one before Thanksgiving and then you can try to guess whose is whose when you eat them! We’ll try this out at MPM 2011 and report back.

Looking forward to a fabulous fall!

XO

Free Foxy Knoxy! Right?

I’ve been checking Google all morning waiting for an update on the Amanda Knox verdict – do you think she is innocent or guilty? We’ll know the decision any minute and I literally have no fingernails left! I don’t know anything about her involvement, but she doesn’t seem like a cold, hard killer to me. My vote would be for FREEDOM! And then (fingernail-less) fingers crossed she doesn’t kill anyone upon returning to Seattle… 🙂

I’m Baaaaack!

I know it’s been a while, but you know how I feel about fall – it’s the most inspirational/wonderful/best smelling time of the year. I used some orange spice lotion last night at a friend’s house and was instantly transported to visions of chunky knit sweaters and cinnamon scented candles and just had to hit the keyboard for a quick post. This time of year makes me feel sentimental and excited all at once. And even though summer just started (and ended) last week here in Seattle, I’m still excited for a fresh start.

One of the things that I’m most excited about includes Husky tailgating – I’m trying to take it to the next level this year (and I do not mean in terms of alcohol consumption). A certain special friend of mine has a tailgate every home game and he is definitely the Yoda of tailgating. Beyond the standard tent and various tailgating chairs/table, he now has a portable flag pole, multiple flags/banners, and a very enthusiastic outlook on the season. And an ever-growing collection of awesome Husky gear. And beer. So what could I possibly bring to the table, you ask? Well I’m sure you intended no pun, but I would like to enhance this already wonderful situation by making deeelish tailgate treats. Yoda is not such a tailgate expert that he has a generator for me to actually keep things warm, so the only hitch in my giddy-up is that I have to make goodies that will taste good at room (parking lot) temperature. Here’s what’s in store for this weekend:

–          Montlake Sin (originally named Mississippi Sin, but I made a small ingredient change, so I feel like it’s my prerogative to make a small nominal change as well). I tweaked this recipe and am going to use a very simple slow-cooker pulled chicken situation instead of the ham. Is your mouth watering?

Serious YUM.

–          Bacon Jalapeño Nibblers – enough said? I think so.

Can't wait!

Anyway, come swing by if you’re cheering on the Dawgs! Otherwise, I will be trying to make more frequent visits here and hope you will too!

 

Happy Loooooove Day!

Just a few little gems for this LOVEliest of days:

Today’s Google Landing Page – by Robert Indiana

 

Mmmmm! He is: Hale’s Chocolate Stout with Stout caramel buttercream & She is: Pink Champagne by Trophy

I would say Trophy Cupcakes is one of Seattle’s best treasures. What do you think?

To all the fellows - it's probably Geoffrey Chaucer's {read:not your girlfriend's} fault that Valentine's Day is what it is...

“For this was Saint Valentine’s Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate.”

 

{Modern Day} Love Birds card via Tiny Prints - ohso-adorbs 🙂

 

You are the ketchup to my fries XO {For sale on Etsy}

Mmm food and love in a cute wall decor poster – doesn’t get much better than that! 

 

She is just so darling, I couldn't help it.

 Courtesy of Apartment #34 (via ban.do)

I’m slightly obsessed with the Keep Calm & Carry On renaissance right now, so this seemed fitting

 

Oh Deb, she’s at it again: Black&White Heart Brownies = deeeelish!

Best for last – Deb made these darling little brownies recently so I’m thinking I’m going to have to give them a try… immediately! Check out the recipe at SmittenKitchen. 

XOXO

 

Being Grateful, Happy, Corny, Etc.

Warning: the following contains overly optimistic, idealistic notions and way too many passé quotes. Proceed with caution.

I’m not typically the corny type who promotes the ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ stuff very often. In fact, usually I think it is crap. But then I feel cynical, and that is not something I strive to be either. So I’ve adopted the ‘Do the right things, at the right times, for the right reasons’ policy, and find that it is succinct, while still capturing a bit of the corny.

It seems all too easy to get caught up in life’s daily difficulties, so when I got the following email from my grandpa this morning, I took a deep breath and realized that perhaps ‘not sweating the small stuff’ is an underrated concept. And with it being the end of January, I thought there was a good chance that there are a couple of other quasi-cynics out there who were having some winter gripes too.

So please excuse the cheesy-factor and take the following list for what it is: two minutes to get lost in trying to be a better version of yourself. We could all use a little of that.

LIFE HANDBOOK 2011    

Health:

• Drink plenty of water.
• Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar.
• Eat more foods from natural plants; eat fewer foods that are manufactured in plants.
• Live with the 3 E’s: Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
• Make time to pray (or meditate, or do yoga, or something spiritual).
• Play more games.
• Read more books than you did in 2010.
• Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
• Sleep for 7 hours.
• Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

• Don’t compare your life to others’ lives. You have no idea what their journey is about.
• Don’t have negative thoughts about things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive, present moment.
• Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
• Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
• Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
• Dream more while you are awake.
• Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
• Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
• Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
• Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
• No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
• Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
• Smile and laugh more.
• You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

• Call your family often.
• Each day, give something good to others.
• Forgive everyone for everything.
• Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
• Try to make at least three people smile each day.
• What other people think of you is none of your business.
• Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

• Do the right thing!
• Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
• Time heals all wounds.
• However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
• No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
• The best is yet to come.
• When you awake alive in the morning, be thankful.
• Your inner most self is always happy. So, be happy.

There… now don’t you feel a little bit nicer? Lighter? Clichéd? Don’t worry, the mocking should return any minute now.

Christmas Catch-Up

How was your holiday season? You may or may not know this about me, but I adore the Christmas/New Years time of year. I talk about it before Thanksgiving turkeys have even been basted and buy my (real!) Christmas tree the moment that it becomes socially acceptable (read: the morning after Thanksgiving)… I would buy it sooner if I could.

It starts early for me, but now that I am a (resistant) member of the ‘real world,’ I have less time to enjoy the small moments that symbolize the holiday season.  Thus, I really have to make the most of those things I can cherish.

I wanted to share with you a list of holiday items that made the end of 2010 sparkly and special – and so very tasty too!

1. Home Décor
   

   Exhibit B: Very cute ornament display at a friend's house (I will be copying for next year!)

   

   Home Decorations, Exhibit A: Holiday Table-scape

2. Dreamsicles (one part vodka, one part orange juice, one scoop vanilla ice-cream, and a dash of rose-water. Add ice, blend, and enjoy!)
3. Christmas movies: Elf, Home Alone, Home Alone 2, It’s A Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34^th Street (the original of course), Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation (oddly reminiscent of my own family…), The Family Stone, The Santa Clause (YES THE ONE WITH TIM ALLEN! I LIKE IT!)
4. Holiday cards/letters from family & friends
5. Candy Cane Lane
6. Holiday Kalua (courtesy of a pretty girlfriend and wrapped up in such a cute Christmas container)
7. Horse Drawn Carriage Rides through downtown Seattle
8. 95.7 and 106.9 – all Christmas all the time
9. Gingerbread houses
10. Cookie Baking Day!
    

    Decorated Sugar Cookies

    

    Chocolate Mint Meltaways, Classic Sugar Cookies, & Peanut Butter Blossoms...mmm!

11. Glee Christmas album (in particular, ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ as performed by Kurt and his man-crush, Blaine)
12. Matching sister Christmas jammies
13. Mariah Carey in general
14. Wrapping presents beneath the light of the Christmas tree
    

    My Charlie Brown meets Whoville Christmas Tree

15. Waking up at 7:45AM (!!) to open gifts. {12 year old sisters will do that to you}
16. Let me see your jelly roll (Bisquick coffee-cake/jelly roll)
17. Secret Santa(s)
18. Vacation time!!!
19. Shopping
20. Santa Photos
21. Candy treats
22. Karaoke Klub
23. Watching the Space Needle fireworks with friends on NYE
24. Champagne (and toasts galore!)
25. New Year’s Resolutions 🙂

I hope this is a wonderful beginning to a fresh, new year, full of opportunities and delights. Take a trip, make a new friend, do something that scares you, and (try to) be nice {or funny, or silly, or adventurous, etc. – insert desired quality here}. Happy happy 2011!

Bowing Down and All That Good Stuff: Apple Cup 2010

Jesus was actually supposed to be born in Pullman, rather than Bethlehem… but they couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

I just have to preface this post with a very factual statement: I am not actually a huge sports fan. Shocking, I know. But, as it turns out, I spend a lot of time with (arguably) the biggest sports fan in the world. When being forced to watch all these tedious games of football, basketball, baseball, soccer, lacrosse, curling, fishing, rock climbing {I’m embellishing a teensy bit here}, I usually base my support on which team’s colors/uniforms are more appealing. I don’t read up on stats, and typically bring either a magazine or a girlfriend to keep my focus on anything besides the actual sporting event. Isn’t it supposed to be about the boozing anyway?

When it comes to Husky football, I’m not going to lie, it has been good to have a girlfriend (or nail polish, or Martha Stewart Living, etc.) to serve as a distraction these past few years. But purple is still a prettier color than crimson, and I have tried to avoid watching football for the last three months so as to save all my focus and positive vibes for this one sporting event that I will actually care about: the Apple Cup. I will pause here for some thoughts that may have some real validity behind them (read: clearly not written by me).

Apple Cup is the most fun week of the year. There’s no hate between the teams like there is with Oregon; it’s just a sibling rivalry that encompasses the entire state. Fortunately for us {Husky fans}, we’re the older, stronger, wiser and smarter sibling.  No matter how much Cougar fans want this to be a close game, sadly their dreams won’t come true. Washington has every conceivable advantage on the field and off.

The Huskies’ low point of an 0-12 season gave the Cougars their greatest moment of the last 8 years. Their Apple Cup win sent Washington crashing down as the worst FBS team in the nation. WSU fans still point to ’08 as a positive for their program (they were 1-11…). Every team gets knocked down, but the true test of a program is how you recover. Only two years later, and one great coaching change, the Huskies are staring at a bowl game for the first time since 2002, while the Cougars are about to fire yet another coach and start over. I have yet to talk to a Cougar fan that thinks Paul Wulff in the answer. Conversely, Steve Sarkisian has been heralded as the next Don James (blasphemous, I know).

Off the field, Coug fans know that a win will mean that Wulff will stay another year and continue the mediocrity (if it’s even that good). On the other hand, a win for Cougs would mean that they would have the trump card in any Apple Cup argument for the next five years. The Huskies know that a loss would be catastrophic for the team and its fans. The Cougs have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The Huskies are the opposite. Therefore, the Huskies will be way more motivated on the field.

Also on the field, the Huskies have another, even bigger advantage. Even though it is in Pullman, the 30 degree weather and snow favor Washington’s rushing attack rather than WSU’s passing game. The Cougars have the worst rushing team in the Pac-10 and if the snow starts to fall it could get ugly fast. Washington State ranks last in the Pac-10 in … (inhale) scoring offense, rushing offense, scoring defense, rushing defense, total defense, pass defense efficiency, first downs AND sacks against. If each team plays their “A” game, the Huskies will win. If each team plays their “B” game, the Huskies will win. If each team plays their “C” game, the Huskies will win. I’d be hard pressed to find someone who could argue with that. Sorry Cougs, it’s going to be a long Saturday night.

Huskies 32, Cougars 17.

{The above is courtesy of Griffin W. Bennett (you know… that HUGE sports fan?). If you like the sports angle (and know that you’re not going to be getting too much more of that here at LU) you can read more by Griffin at NW Roots, Montlake Madness, and MYNorthwest.com.}

Hopefully we’re not jinxing the game here… but, as Don James said, “Attending WAZZU is great preparation for real life. It teaches you not to expect too much.” So in the end, regardless of what the scoreboard says, Huskies still win. GO DAWGS!